for the mother in waiting…
It’s almost Mother’s day….
And as some prepare to celebrate the day with family, I can’t help but wonder how many beautiful women there are facing infertility and pregnancy loss… the mother in waiting, the one walking through another painful year of grief, disappointment, another Mother’s day without a child to hold, another reminder there is no baby in the womb....
Perhaps you're young or still single and you’ve been told you can’t have children? Or perhaps you’ve been trying to conceive for months, a year, 5 years, a decade, or maybe more? And perhaps the diagnosis or ‘trying’ has left you feeling disappointed or exhausted and if you haven’t already, you’re about to let go of your birthright and/or the dream you once had to be a mother…
Whatever your story looks like and wherever you’re at right now, I believe the Father wants you to know...
YOU are not forgotten.
YOU are seen.
YOU are deeply loved.
YOU have been perfectly formed in His image.
Yes, YOU are fearfully and wonderfully made.
There has not been a single moment in time where the Father has not thought of you, noticed you or loved you. And whether you feel abandoned by Him, are angry at Him, delight in Him or don’t care to know Him, after a slow, seven year journey of penning this offering for you, it has been undoubtedly clear to me that you are closer to the Father’s heart than you will ever know.
‘Sing! O, Barren Woman.
Your King is listening…’
This song was birthed after an encounter I had with the Lord on my way to visit my friend’s beautiful newborn. It was May 6th, 2014 and she wasn’t even a day old! I felt the Holy Spirit lead me to pray while I was driving there and as I did, another friend had come to mind. I asked the Lord why He was showing me her face and it only took seconds before I realised this was my friend who was facing infertility. In that moment of realisation, I was overwhelmed with sadness and found myself weeping for her. I prayed for her. I felt burdened to stand in the gap for her and now looking back, the weight of it has never left.
It is quite remarkable to me that our omnipresent Creator would be equally present in both the room where there is a newborn and the room where there is a tender heart with an empty womb. Because if nothing else could convince me, that encounter with the Holy Spirit on my way to the hospital is why I deeply believe, YOU are seen. It’s is why I truly believe He has not forgotten you.
Now, I could never tell you that I know exactly how you feel, because the truth is, I don’t. I can only empathise, and even then, I will never be able to comprehend the fullness, or a fraction of what it looks like to walk a day in your shoes. But perhaps when I was praying in the car that day, the Holy Spirit allowed me to catch the slightest glimpse of the pain you may be facing so that I would humbly seek Him on your behalf. So, in an effort to find lyrics and a melody that could delicately thread your reality and your future together with a three stranded cord of truth, I went home that day and began my pilgrimage toward the King’s heart for you.
“You’re greater than all barrenness. No condition defines my path…”
Genesis 18:13-14 (NLT)
Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh? Why did she say ‘Can an old woman like me have a baby?’ Is there anything too hard for the Lord? I will return about this time next year, and Sarah WILL have a son...”
I love Sarah. She’s so human and absolutely relatable. Sarah didn’t believe God the first time He promised her husband, Abraham, they would have descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky. She also didn’t believe Him a second time when the Lord told Abraham they would have a child in their old age. Without realising it, even after God repeated Himself, Sarah was convinced her condition was more powerful than God’s word (and understandably so - she was in her 90s!). It’s also important to note their son Isaac was not going to simply fall from the sky or just… appear. Naturally, he was to be conceived as the result of intimacy, which might explain her laughing in her heart at God’s promise. In response to her disbelief, our gracious Father acknowledges Sarah and reassures her that NOTHING is too hard for Him, declaring again that they WILL have a son.
Hebrews 11:11 (AMPC)
“Because of faith also Sarah herself received physical power to conceive a child, even when she was long past the age for it, because she considered [God] Who had given her the promise to be reliable and trustworthy and true to His word.”
I am definitely not saying that if you have been trying to grow your family and haven’t had success yet that it is because you lack faith. I have followed so many infertility stories online and have realised how common yet also how painfully devastating and discouraging TTC can be. So in all honesty, I don’t think any of us could ever understand it. I do however, believe that when God addressed Sarah’s unbelief, she was quickly reminded of whose voice determined her future. God’s word. God’s voice. Instead of allowing her age be the avenue for lies to creep in and ultimately convince her she was an incapable 90 year old, she let God’s word ring louder by considering Him to be reliable, trustworthy and true to His word.
May you have courage to trust, that the same God who was faithful to Sarah, is the same God who will be faithful to YOU. He is unchanging. He is the same yesterday, the same with Sarah all those years ago, the same TODAY and forevermore. He is all loving, all powerful, all knowing and ever near. He knows the details and cares about our dreams and desires. Though the promise doesn’t always come or look the way we imagined it would unfold, He will, in His perfect timing, fulfil His promises. We can trust that He will be faithful to deliver because our Father is not a liar. He does not tease us. He does not mock us. He does not treat us with contempt. If the God who spoke the Heavens and the Earth into being said it, He will do it.
“I know there’s no false hope in Jesus’ Name!”
This line is significant to me because of a moment I had with another friend who has been TTC for a decade now. It was November 19th, 2017 and we were two sessions into Hillsong Creative and Worship Conference in Sydney, Australia. In the middle of worship, I felt the Holy Spirit ask me to encourage this friend. He was specific in His encouragement for her, “what’s barren in your life, God is breathing life into it.” I hesitated for a few minutes because it was such a bold thing to say. I didn’t want to come across as insensitive and I definitely did not want to be wrong. When I thought to myself, ‘I don’t want to give her false hope,’ the Holy Spirit immediately arrested my attention and corrected me with a revelation that has cultivated my confession ever since and has effectively been the push I needed to finish this song… He whispered with a roar that cut straight to my soul, “There is NO false hope in ME!”
And that was it. I wasn’t going to walk away from that moment without obeying His prompting because I knew I’d regret it if I did. I leaned over toward my friend and asked if I could encourage her. When she responded with a yes, I said, “What’s barren in your life, God wants to breathe life into it and you need to believe it. There is no false hope in Jesus and He WILL NOT make a fool out of your faith to believe for His promises to be fulfilled in your life. You just gotta keep believing and believing until you see His word come to pass.” I went on to speak more words of encouragement that I felt led to say. We both cried good tears, prayed, hugged, and then that conference day went on as scheduled.
Hours later when we reminisced on that moment together, she told me that right when I tapped her on shoulder, before I said anything, she had uttered in her heart heavenward, “God, do I need to let this dream go?” AND GOD DID NOT WANT HER TO BELIEVE (EVEN FOR A SECOND) THAT HE WOULDN’T BE FAITHFUL TO HIS PROMISE! Spoiler alert… as I’ve been preparing to release this song, she and her husband found out they are pregnant!! [insert crying emojis]
I kid you not, between 10am when I encouraged my friend, to 10pm that night, the Holy Spirit had led me to encourage 10 women with the same word - both strangers, acquaintances and friends. These were powerful moments of encouragement that only God could have orchestrated. I walked away from that day completely undone, as if I was breathless from a heavy wave of the Father’s love toward these beautiful women and toward me for giving me, a random outsider, such tender insight. It was a defining moment that gave me the courage to be fearless in obeying God’s word and boldness in declaring the truth of WHO He is.
“Yahweh, giver of all life
in faith we prophesy FOR GENERATIONS we’ll sing, ‘Holy!’”
Romans 5:2-5 (NLT)
“Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. AND THIS HOPE WILL NOT LEAD TO DISAPPOINTMENT. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”
I’ll finish with this… you are loved and seen. Also, nothing is final until God says it is. In what may feel like a hopeless season, it will (like all seasons) come to an end. Proverbs 13:12 says, “hope differed makes the heart sick…” So lets hold on to hope together. Hope surrounds us everyday. HOPE is in the miracle of every child that IS being born right this second. HOPE is in other people watching their miracle come to pass while we’re still waiting. HOPE is in the new day we get to live. HOPE is in the people we have around us to love now, on the journey. We may not really understand the purpose of waiting right now, but it will be revealed in time and it will serve a purpose. I am fully convinced that no season is ever wasted in God. So, consider this - in the mystery of it all, nothing, not even your moments of valid frustration at God, could ever seperate you from His deep and undying love for you.
“Even in the mystery,
God, I know that you love me”
Beautiful friend, I invite you to rest in this Hope, which can only be found in Jesus, by humbly offering you this song. I pray these lyrics will add strength to your faith on your journey and help you prophesy your way into the Father’s future for you - that FOR GENERATIONS you, your children and their children will sing, “Holy! Holy! Holy!”
All my love,
Malia xx